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You Might Be Retired If….
I read a post on People I Want To Punch in the Throat about how ‘You might be a Suburban Mom if…’ I hope Our Enemies (you know who you are) never read her article. If what she says in her post is...
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A Bather’s Tale of Woe: Mom-us Interruptus. Honorable Mention
THE TOPIC OF THIS CONTEST WAS: The sweat vanished from her skin as she sank down into the cool, blue swimming hole. The radio spread a festive mood to the commune members, who were picnicking,...
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Smoking In Your Car Means Leaving Your Kids Alone At Home
As of October 1st, 2015, smoking in your car while your kids (those freeloaders) are in it, will be against the law. In fact, you can’t light up with anyone 18 or under in your car. So, don’t ask to...
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6 Reasons To Get Enough Sleep As If You Didn’t Know This Already
I got my postgraduate degree from USC Los Angeles (Home of the Trojans, those perves). In return for what it cost, which is an amount equivalent to the gross national product of a small country, I...
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On Chickens, Marriage, and Adjustment
I re-read ‘The Egg and I’, a memoir written in the 1950’s. It’s still relevant, mainly because female readers can relate to the author’s trials living on a chicken ranch in the wilds of the mountains...
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Dog Bless Our Home
In an old episode of the ‘Odd Couple’, Felix says that ‘dog’ spelled backward is ‘God’. This makes perfect sense to me; God regularly blesses and punishes, and a dog feels much the same sense of...
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Ballet Flats And Lug Nuts And Men, Oh My!
Men are a wonderful species, by golly. They come in all shapes and sizes, so don’t be hasty when choosing a mate. You can try on many of them before you make an actual decision. Just be sure to use a...
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Brain Hazards
Brain hazards come in many forms; more than just getting hit in the head by a football when you were younger, or finishing that six-pack last weekend. If you use over-the-counter or prescription...
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You Say Couch Potato Like Its A Bad Thing
I heard that if you are a couch potato, who watches cooking shows on the food networks, or any network, you will gain weight. Can you beat that? Well, I guess you could beat it, especially with a handy...
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Think Yourself Thin
I read an article once that said you could ‘think yourself thin’. Based on that alone, I can truthfully say I would always have been as skinny as a train flattened soda can, had I devoted myself more...
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Just Between You and Me: How Much Information is Too Much?
My generation was growing up a couple of generations ago. At least, I think it was; it may be nosing up into three generations. I guess I could be a great-great grandmother by now, like Loretta Lynn,...
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: A Sociological Dissemination
I feel it’s my duty to call attention to the ‘Most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’. Rudolph is the subject of a song I hear every Christmas season, and know by heart, since I...
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Six Really Cool Insurance Policies I Wish I Had
Recently, for reasons that escape me, I began thinking about insurance policies, giving the subject a good five minutes of deep thought. (Well, three and a half minutes, at least.) We have auto,...
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Foolin’ With Money; Or How the Marketing Guys Mess With Us
According to an article I read, money acts like a drug on the brain. If you stick your hand in hot water while counting money (I guess you have to do it one-handed) besides potentially peeing yourself,...
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New Year Resolutions: Not Just About Going To More Orgies
New Year resolutions show a unity of human spirit and longing across centuries, mainly the longing not to have to make resolutions. New Year resolutions have religious origins, and are pretty much...
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Downton Abbey: 6 Ways I’m A Superior Edwardian Aristocrat
Downton Abbey looks very interesting. I’m using it as a manual on how to conduct my life. I’m starting a GoFundMe so that I can further my lowly ambition to be a dead, rich Edwardian. Two hundred...
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Keeping A Secret, Or Shut Up, Already
Keeping a secret seems like it should be a no-brainer. If you don’t want to tell someone something, don’t. This is the basic premise on which the CIA, and the teen years are built. And the...
View ArticleKelley Spartiatis: A European’s View On Child Rearing
In the UK we are pretty similar to the Americans. Only us white folk though. On our children’s 18th birthday we pack their suitcases, and leave them on the doorstep. Just in case they try to sneak back...
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